Today is the 21st of December 2011. It's been four days since I left Florence. It is four days before Christmas day, and 10 days before a New Year. I should be writing my college application essays, and therefore anyone who knows me or has been reading this blog for a while will know that means it is time to procrastinate.
Today I slept late, my sister made me a yummy omelet for breakfast while I messaged my roommate and good friend from Florence, I made an entire playlist on my iPod devoted to how much I miss the tourist infested beautiful ancient little city. The first song on the playlist is called 'This City' and my favorite part of the lyrics say "This city is my city, And I love it, yeah I love it, I was born and raised here, I got it made here, And if I have my way, I'm gonna stay" I know I wasn't born in Florence, but I feel as though I came out of my experience there a new person, a better person, and I like to think a new me was born and matured in the small streets and cosy little apartment I shared with three amazing girls. Today has barely begun for me, though it is almost 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I do not know what I will eat for lunch, or what I will do this evening, or who I will see. I could finish all my college applications today (though I'll admit that is not likely), or I could simply watch the season finale of Doctor Who with my sister. Today is unknown, and at the same time it is familiar. Today is the present, and as I promised myself and my roommates I am living in the present. I can't help but reflect on the past, however, and I wanted to bring you on this time travel with me. (I've been watching way too much Doctor Who…)
Exactly one week ago was my last day of exams for the semester. I only had one exam, Italian, at 9am, and I think (I hope) I did quite well. It was my last day of classes, my last official day in Scuolo Lorenzo de Medici for the Fall 2011 semester, and the mark of the end of my time in Florence. It was a sad day for me, but also a reflection on the happiness I had experienced for the last three and a half months. It was a good day.
Exactly 6 months ago was four days after I graduated from high school. I hadn't spent a summer in Cyprus yet, I had never been to Florence yet, I hadn't learned what I know now, or seen what I've seen. I was excited, scared, anxious, and hopeful. I couldn't speak a word of Italian yet. High school feels like years ago now, not months. But six months ago I was saying goodbye to the people I had known and seen everyday for four years of my life. Six months ago I began my journey, and took the first steps towards the rest of my life.
One year ago I was sailing through the Grenadine islands with my family and the family of one of my best friends. I was opening myself up to the idea that maybe Christmas didn't have to be terribly sad to me, as it always had been in the past, maybe I could have fun this year, maybe I was luckier than I ever appreciated before, because I had that opportunity and I was with people I loved- then and now.
Two years ago my family changed once again. I was confused, upset, selfish, skeptical and young. Two short years ago I seemed so young. That was a very dark time in my history, not just that Christmas but that year was hard for me. I cannot remember exactly why now, though it seemed so important at the time. I was struggling and very unhappy. Two years ago I wish I had known I would be as happy as I am today, as lucky as I have come to appreciate, and as wise as I have become. Two years can be so short, yet see so much change. I'm glad to say that I am a different person from who I was two years ago. I like this version of myself much better.
Where were you one week, six months, one year, and two years ago? What were you thinking, feeling, seeing? I dare you to think back, look at a calendar and travel time. You don't need a TARDIS. I hope memory lane is as rewarding for you, and makes you appreciate who you are today, because today is the most precious day of your life. Live in the present.
In the wise words of Henry David Thoreau; “You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their islands of opportunity and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this.”
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Firenze- Fall 2011.
Sono triste perché io bisogno partire. Non voglio dire addio a Firenze! Non voglio dire addio a miei amici! Non voglio partire. Ma, sono felice perché io sono vivuto a Firenze per tre mesi, e sono le più fortunata ragazza nel mondo. Sono innamorato con Firenze. Sono più felice qui.
Mi mancherà vivere in Firenze, mi mancherà parlare in italiano, e mi mancherà miei amici! Firenze é mio posto preferito nel mondo. Ho visto David di Michelangelo, sono salito del duomo di Brunelleschi, ho visitato di palazzo di mecidi famiglia e più e più.
Ho visitato molti posti. Ho visitato Capri, Sorrento e Pompeii, e ho visitato Munich per feste di Ottobre, e ho visitato Svizzera, e Milan e Cremona per il compleanno di mio nonno e ho visitato Perugia per il feste di cioccolato, e ho visitato Vienna, Bratislava, Budapest, Cracovia e Praha, e poi ho visitato miei amici a Londra. Ma, dopo di tutti, mio posti preferito é ancora Firenze.
Sono fortunata ho incontrato tutti bravi personi. Loro voglio bene tutti.
Sono felice io ho crescuto. Ho diventato una brava ragazza! Arrivederci Firenze, e arrivederci a miei amici.
(This is not a translation, simply a continuation of my thoughts and feelings about Florence:)
Climbing Brunelleschi's Duomo, walking past Ghiberti's golden doors of paradise, saying goodbye to Michelangelo's David… I am the luckiest girl in the world. Sitting behind Michelangelo's sculpture of David, staring at his perfectly curved rump and strong powerful hands I cannot help but get more than a little bit emotional. This perfect sculpture of the perfect man is the pride and joy, the symbol of Florence. My Florence. And therefore he is a symbol for me. He reminds me that I came here to find relationships and somewhere along the way I found myself. David shows me that I don't need anything more than a stone figure to make me happy, because just like him I can conquer anything I set my mind to. When I came to Florence I was young, I was eager and hopeful and terrified. I didn't know what life would throw at me for the next three months and that was hard for me. Now I don't want to leave. I want to stay here, in this place with these people for as long as I can. Not just because it's fun, and not just because I like it, but because I have never been so proud of myself, and never felt so good in my own skin. Florence brings out the best in me, as do the people I have shared my life with for the last three months. I feel more at home here, and happier here than I ever have in my life.. I'm going to miss David as much as any of my friends here. I'm going to miss Florence. I'm so fortunate, not only for my 3 months in Florence, but for my life up until this point, and for my family and friends, and for my appreciation of everything around me. I love Florence, I love my life. And this sadness that i feel now, this heavy heart I carry, is simply proof of how much joy and love I have been lucky enough to experience, only a side effect of my good fortune and my time here. Though I hate saying goodbye I'm glad to have to, because it means I had a hello in the first place, and a magnificent 3 and a half months in between those two fateful words.
Mi mancherà vivere in Firenze, mi mancherà parlare in italiano, e mi mancherà miei amici! Firenze é mio posto preferito nel mondo. Ho visto David di Michelangelo, sono salito del duomo di Brunelleschi, ho visitato di palazzo di mecidi famiglia e più e più.
Ho visitato molti posti. Ho visitato Capri, Sorrento e Pompeii, e ho visitato Munich per feste di Ottobre, e ho visitato Svizzera, e Milan e Cremona per il compleanno di mio nonno e ho visitato Perugia per il feste di cioccolato, e ho visitato Vienna, Bratislava, Budapest, Cracovia e Praha, e poi ho visitato miei amici a Londra. Ma, dopo di tutti, mio posti preferito é ancora Firenze.
Sono fortunata ho incontrato tutti bravi personi. Loro voglio bene tutti.
Sono felice io ho crescuto. Ho diventato una brava ragazza! Arrivederci Firenze, e arrivederci a miei amici.
(This is not a translation, simply a continuation of my thoughts and feelings about Florence:)
Climbing Brunelleschi's Duomo, walking past Ghiberti's golden doors of paradise, saying goodbye to Michelangelo's David… I am the luckiest girl in the world. Sitting behind Michelangelo's sculpture of David, staring at his perfectly curved rump and strong powerful hands I cannot help but get more than a little bit emotional. This perfect sculpture of the perfect man is the pride and joy, the symbol of Florence. My Florence. And therefore he is a symbol for me. He reminds me that I came here to find relationships and somewhere along the way I found myself. David shows me that I don't need anything more than a stone figure to make me happy, because just like him I can conquer anything I set my mind to. When I came to Florence I was young, I was eager and hopeful and terrified. I didn't know what life would throw at me for the next three months and that was hard for me. Now I don't want to leave. I want to stay here, in this place with these people for as long as I can. Not just because it's fun, and not just because I like it, but because I have never been so proud of myself, and never felt so good in my own skin. Florence brings out the best in me, as do the people I have shared my life with for the last three months. I feel more at home here, and happier here than I ever have in my life.. I'm going to miss David as much as any of my friends here. I'm going to miss Florence. I'm so fortunate, not only for my 3 months in Florence, but for my life up until this point, and for my family and friends, and for my appreciation of everything around me. I love Florence, I love my life. And this sadness that i feel now, this heavy heart I carry, is simply proof of how much joy and love I have been lucky enough to experience, only a side effect of my good fortune and my time here. Though I hate saying goodbye I'm glad to have to, because it means I had a hello in the first place, and a magnificent 3 and a half months in between those two fateful words.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
My Bucket List
At the beginning of my semester in Florence my roommates and I climbed to the top of Piazzale Michelangelo together, drank a bottle of wine, and wrote out a Bucket List of things we hoped to achieve from our time here. We had just met, we were still new to each other and I for one was still new to Florence, but after that night I knew we were the four best possible people to live together. We share similar views, similar goals, similar outlooks on life but we are each still our own person with very different backgrounds and most probably very different futures. I am the luckiest person in the world to have had the privilege to live with these three amazing young women for the time that I did, but I digress…
We are quickly approaching the end of the semester and thus the end of my time in Florence. With final exams in one week and my history for overly exaggerated stress around exam time I know that these last two weeks will be a blur of stress, studying, and a lot of eating. My roommates and I plan to find sometime amidst all that to climb back up to Piazzale Michelangelo and check our progress on the Bucket List we made together. Ever since that first night, and increasingly so now that the time to re-vist the list is approaching, I have been thinking about my own Bucket List for life, everything I hope to accomplish before my time comes to an end.
Nothing is set in stone, some things I have thought about for years and some I am just making up as I go along, but I know that I hope to look back on my life fifty, sixty or seventy years from now and say I at least tried to complete each one of these things:
1. Go to Venice- not only for Carnivale (which is a must!) but to learn, to be inspired, and to write.
2. See the Northern lights
3. Go to Australia
4. Decorate my very own apartment
5. Celebrate each Carnival around the world
6. Ride the Orient Express train through Europe
7. Publish a best selling novel ;)
8. Live in an apartment with my sister
9. Get my British citizenship
10. Become fluent in a second language. And then become fluent in a third language.
11. Learn how to play an instrument
12. Meet my favourite author
13. Create one work of art of which I am proud (I should mention here that my artistic talent never really progressed beyond macaroni picture frames in kindergarden)
14. Do a night dive and a wreck dive
15. Travel in Space
16. Make a profit at a casino
17. Sleep under the stars (ignore the mosquitoes, the discomfort, and all the monsters obviously hiding in the shadows)
18. Go on a road trip
19. See my favourite musician perform live
20. Found a charitable organization
21. Travel to Antarctica and see the Penguins
22. Sponsor an endangered animal and travel to wherever it is in the world to meet it
23. Sing karaoke in front of a crowd and not be ashamed (alcohol will most probably be a necessity...)
24. Make a positive difference; in one person's life, in many peoples lives, in a town or a country or the world
25. Be remembered for something great
They are not in order of importance, each of these things is equally important to me (though some will be easier to accomplish than others). I admit that I did my research and borrowed some of these great ideas. There are many more things I cannot think to add to the list now, and many more I haven't even thought of yet, but for now, this very moment in time, this is my Bucket List.
What's yours?
We are quickly approaching the end of the semester and thus the end of my time in Florence. With final exams in one week and my history for overly exaggerated stress around exam time I know that these last two weeks will be a blur of stress, studying, and a lot of eating. My roommates and I plan to find sometime amidst all that to climb back up to Piazzale Michelangelo and check our progress on the Bucket List we made together. Ever since that first night, and increasingly so now that the time to re-vist the list is approaching, I have been thinking about my own Bucket List for life, everything I hope to accomplish before my time comes to an end.
Nothing is set in stone, some things I have thought about for years and some I am just making up as I go along, but I know that I hope to look back on my life fifty, sixty or seventy years from now and say I at least tried to complete each one of these things:
1. Go to Venice- not only for Carnivale (which is a must!) but to learn, to be inspired, and to write.
2. See the Northern lights
3. Go to Australia
4. Decorate my very own apartment
5. Celebrate each Carnival around the world
6. Ride the Orient Express train through Europe
7. Publish a best selling novel ;)
8. Live in an apartment with my sister
9. Get my British citizenship
10. Become fluent in a second language. And then become fluent in a third language.
11. Learn how to play an instrument
12. Meet my favourite author
13. Create one work of art of which I am proud (I should mention here that my artistic talent never really progressed beyond macaroni picture frames in kindergarden)
14. Do a night dive and a wreck dive
15. Travel in Space
16. Make a profit at a casino
17. Sleep under the stars (ignore the mosquitoes, the discomfort, and all the monsters obviously hiding in the shadows)
18. Go on a road trip
19. See my favourite musician perform live
20. Found a charitable organization
21. Travel to Antarctica and see the Penguins
22. Sponsor an endangered animal and travel to wherever it is in the world to meet it
23. Sing karaoke in front of a crowd and not be ashamed (alcohol will most probably be a necessity...)
24. Make a positive difference; in one person's life, in many peoples lives, in a town or a country or the world
25. Be remembered for something great
They are not in order of importance, each of these things is equally important to me (though some will be easier to accomplish than others). I admit that I did my research and borrowed some of these great ideas. There are many more things I cannot think to add to the list now, and many more I haven't even thought of yet, but for now, this very moment in time, this is my Bucket List.
What's yours?
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Thanksgiving
To me, Thanksgiving is a truly brilliant American holiday. I do not entirely know the history behind it, but I think that the tradition has evolved; grown as the country has grown and matured, and today it is a celebration of family, food, and thankfulness. There are no presents, like Christmas, which at times can seem more materialistic than it should. It is not commercial, like Valentine's day, which is a holiday created by Hallmark and Hershey's to increase their revenue ten fold in one day. Thanksgiving is what it sounds like, a giving of thanks, an appreciation for things you often overlook in your day to day life, and a time to share with your family.
I know Thanksgiving isn't for another five days, and I know I'm not American and have only celebrated thanksgiving about three times in my entire life, but I have decided to break my two week blog absence with this post for two reasons: 1) My roommates (two of whom are American) are all going away next weekend and so we will not be together on actual Thanksgiving so we decided to celebrate together today so you can say I'm in the Thanksgiving mood, and 2) I think we should be thankful every minute of every day, whether we openly acknowledge it or not we should be thankful for what we have. So I'm not going to wait another five days to post what I am thankful for, because I am thankful for it today as much as I was yesterday and as much as I will be five days from now.
I am thankful for my family. We do not get to all be in the same place often, and recently both of my parents visited my sister in New York and as jealous as it made me that I couldn't be with them all it also made me realize how much I miss them all and how grateful I am to have such a great family that has been through so much and I can have a special relationship with each member, and especially my sister who is my best friend.
I am thankful for my friends. New friends that I have made in the last couple months and old friends that I have had for years. I am thankful for the new ones for sharing this amazing time in my life with me, and especially for my roommates for putting up with me each and every day. I am thankful for my old friends for being there for me whenever I need them, no matter how far apart we may be, and for sticking by me for so long and through so much.
I am thankful for Italy. I am so blessed to have the opportunity that I have, and the attitude that I do towards my year here. I don't want to waste a minute taking anything for granted, because I am luckier than most and happier than many. I will remember this time for the rest of my life, and I am so happy to say that all the memories, at least thus far, are good ones. I have learnt so much already, seen so many new things, and already love the people and the places.
I am thankful for my health. It may sound cliché but it is not something that should be taken for granted. I know seventeen year olds who have battled cancer, sixteen year olds who have passed away, and my dear young cousin who is struggling with brain cancer at the moment. I believe in her, I love her, I hope for her strength every day. I am thankful that I wake up healthy and go to sleep healthy.
I am thankful for so much, I can't possibly list it all here.
I am thankful for you, whoever you are, reading this. Thankful for my thoughts and my skill. I am thankful for music without which life would be very boring.
I am thankful.
What are you thankful for?
I know Thanksgiving isn't for another five days, and I know I'm not American and have only celebrated thanksgiving about three times in my entire life, but I have decided to break my two week blog absence with this post for two reasons: 1) My roommates (two of whom are American) are all going away next weekend and so we will not be together on actual Thanksgiving so we decided to celebrate together today so you can say I'm in the Thanksgiving mood, and 2) I think we should be thankful every minute of every day, whether we openly acknowledge it or not we should be thankful for what we have. So I'm not going to wait another five days to post what I am thankful for, because I am thankful for it today as much as I was yesterday and as much as I will be five days from now.
I am thankful for my family. We do not get to all be in the same place often, and recently both of my parents visited my sister in New York and as jealous as it made me that I couldn't be with them all it also made me realize how much I miss them all and how grateful I am to have such a great family that has been through so much and I can have a special relationship with each member, and especially my sister who is my best friend.
I am thankful for my friends. New friends that I have made in the last couple months and old friends that I have had for years. I am thankful for the new ones for sharing this amazing time in my life with me, and especially for my roommates for putting up with me each and every day. I am thankful for my old friends for being there for me whenever I need them, no matter how far apart we may be, and for sticking by me for so long and through so much.
I am thankful for Italy. I am so blessed to have the opportunity that I have, and the attitude that I do towards my year here. I don't want to waste a minute taking anything for granted, because I am luckier than most and happier than many. I will remember this time for the rest of my life, and I am so happy to say that all the memories, at least thus far, are good ones. I have learnt so much already, seen so many new things, and already love the people and the places.
I am thankful for my health. It may sound cliché but it is not something that should be taken for granted. I know seventeen year olds who have battled cancer, sixteen year olds who have passed away, and my dear young cousin who is struggling with brain cancer at the moment. I believe in her, I love her, I hope for her strength every day. I am thankful that I wake up healthy and go to sleep healthy.
I am thankful for so much, I can't possibly list it all here.
I am thankful for you, whoever you are, reading this. Thankful for my thoughts and my skill. I am thankful for music without which life would be very boring.
I am thankful.
What are you thankful for?
Monday, November 7, 2011
Ah, London
A newspaper rustles. Hip-hop music leaks from my neighbour's headphones. The tube rushes on so fast it clogs my ears.
Ah, London.
An Italian couple sit next to me (and I actually understand them!) Two Spanish girls sit opposite me, and there is an Indian family a couple seats down. A girl even stands in front of me with her laptop in her hands, still working after a long day.
Ah, London.
It is impossible to be a foreigner here. Impossible not to blend in to the crowd, not to fit right in amongst the mass of individuality. An oxymoron, I know.
Ah, London.
I feel at home in London, I always have. Though I never actually lived there I have always felt a sense of welcoming acceptance and familiarity from the moment I step off the plane. It feels like home to me.
Ah, London.
After traveling to so many new places, experiencing so many new things and meeting so many new people it's nice to go somewhere I know. The familiarity of London, the memories and feelings that it evokes, the melody of the British accent and the english language and the promise of familiar faces is just as exciting to me as discovering a completely new country. I long to see people I know and miss, to walk through a city I recognize, to make new memories where I already have some. For as much as I love to experience new things nothing and no one can replaces the ones I already know and love.
So I spent twenty minutes on my first day wandering around the same block and a half looking for a bus stop. So I had to stop and ask for directions at least six times. So I was completely on my own. I did it all with a smile on my face. There's something about being lost in a place that still looks familiar, something about the comfort of knowing that I can speak the language so I can always get help if I really need it, and something about being completely independent about it all that is exhilarating. I woke up to the company of my kind host, a friend I have had for only three months (though it feels like I must have known her for longer). I met up with my best friends from the past (who are still some of my best friends today) who I haven't seen in over three years. And I saw my godmother who I have known since I was about three years old.
I love London.
Ah, London.
An Italian couple sit next to me (and I actually understand them!) Two Spanish girls sit opposite me, and there is an Indian family a couple seats down. A girl even stands in front of me with her laptop in her hands, still working after a long day.
Ah, London.
It is impossible to be a foreigner here. Impossible not to blend in to the crowd, not to fit right in amongst the mass of individuality. An oxymoron, I know.
Ah, London.
I feel at home in London, I always have. Though I never actually lived there I have always felt a sense of welcoming acceptance and familiarity from the moment I step off the plane. It feels like home to me.
Ah, London.
After traveling to so many new places, experiencing so many new things and meeting so many new people it's nice to go somewhere I know. The familiarity of London, the memories and feelings that it evokes, the melody of the British accent and the english language and the promise of familiar faces is just as exciting to me as discovering a completely new country. I long to see people I know and miss, to walk through a city I recognize, to make new memories where I already have some. For as much as I love to experience new things nothing and no one can replaces the ones I already know and love.
So I spent twenty minutes on my first day wandering around the same block and a half looking for a bus stop. So I had to stop and ask for directions at least six times. So I was completely on my own. I did it all with a smile on my face. There's something about being lost in a place that still looks familiar, something about the comfort of knowing that I can speak the language so I can always get help if I really need it, and something about being completely independent about it all that is exhilarating. I woke up to the company of my kind host, a friend I have had for only three months (though it feels like I must have known her for longer). I met up with my best friends from the past (who are still some of my best friends today) who I haven't seen in over three years. And I saw my godmother who I have known since I was about three years old.
I love London.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Hauntings from the Holocaust
Oscar Schindler's "Emalia" enamelware factory 26/10/11
From contemporary art to a blast from the past. Touring Oscar Schindler's 'Emalia' earthenware factor was like being in a time portal. I expected the museum to simply be a tour of the factory perfectly preserved, or even replicated and tourist friendly. What I experienced, however, was life in Krakow from 1939 to 1945. I walked through the town square, through a typical jewish house, through the ghetto and even through a small segment of Slaszow concentration camp. Yes, this entire experience was a very modern replica of a very barren part of human history, but I have a good imagination- and the sound effects helped. The most important thing to me, however, was that I was in the very factory where so many Polish jews worked, and so many were miraculously saved. I stood where they stood, I saw what they saw, I heard their stories.
Oscar Schindler was not a saint, he did not set out to be a hero, he was a greedy and corrupt businessman. But he was a saviour. I read a quote from one of the 1200 people that he saved that said: "If it weren't for him there would not be me, and there would not be my family either, nor our descendants."
Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? Ever felt like you were just a face in a crowd, one in a million… useless? Think again.
Today I was overcome not by the immense sadness and brutality- that goes without saying- but by the good amongst the evil, the heroism in Oscar Schindler, a corrupt businessman. It just goes to show that there is good in everyone- immense good, inspiring amounts of good. It is just each person's personal choice if, and how, they express it.
Entrance to Auschwitz concentration camp
Auschwitz Concentration Camp 27/10/11
Auschwitz is beautiful. It's a strange fact, but it is a fact nonetheless. In any other place, under any other circumstance, the red bricks and changing colours of the leaves of the surrounding forestry scattering the earth would be considered picturesque. Peaceful even. Here, however, the beauty makes it that much more eerie, that much more sad.
I don't need to go into the details of how heart-wrenching it was to see the women's hair and the children's clothes preserved and put on display. I won't bother describing the atmosphere of inhumanity and death inside the barracks and the gas chambers alike. I couldn't possibly explain the experience no matter how hard I try. Even I know that there are some things words just cannot describe.
I will say that for three hours I was no longer important. I was no longer an eighteen year old, tanned skin, un-baptised girl from the Caribbean. I was no longer me. Though I can say with almost 100% certainty that if I was a victim of the Holocaust I would have been sent to the gas chambers instantaneously, along with the children under 14 and the adults over 40 as well as those deemed unhealthy or unfit for work. I never would have even seen the inside of the camps. But that is not important. I was not important. I was merely an observer, a fly on the wall, a silent spirit paying tribute to those before me, paying my respects to the spirits of the past.
I did not have flowers to lay at the "wall of death" or a candle to light at the entrance of Auschwitz II- Birkenau. I have never been so overwhelmed by the desire to pray, for those that died and those that survived, for those that lost loved ones and for all those who suffered as well as those suffering today.
The Holocaust may be over, but there is still brutal inhumanity today. So do not forget the horrors of the past, but neither should you overlook the horrors of the present. That is not to say, however, that the love and happiness of the present should be overlooked either. Just remember the next time you fight with a sibling or have a bad day at least you have that sibling to fight with and at least you are alive and healthy. At least you are free.
At the "death wall" my tour guide told me that the victims of the execution used to look their executioners in the eye and shout, loud enough for the other prisoners to hear: "Do not forget me! Remember my name!" So do just that. Remember.
Remember the victims of the Holocaust, remember the victims of the present day horrors, and remember those you love and see everyday. Do not forget to tell them you love them and appreciate them. Do not take them for granted.
And remember yourself. You are not just a number tattooed on your arm. You are not a victim. You are fortunate in more ways than you know. I know I am.
The "Death Wall"
From contemporary art to a blast from the past. Touring Oscar Schindler's 'Emalia' earthenware factor was like being in a time portal. I expected the museum to simply be a tour of the factory perfectly preserved, or even replicated and tourist friendly. What I experienced, however, was life in Krakow from 1939 to 1945. I walked through the town square, through a typical jewish house, through the ghetto and even through a small segment of Slaszow concentration camp. Yes, this entire experience was a very modern replica of a very barren part of human history, but I have a good imagination- and the sound effects helped. The most important thing to me, however, was that I was in the very factory where so many Polish jews worked, and so many were miraculously saved. I stood where they stood, I saw what they saw, I heard their stories.
Oscar Schindler was not a saint, he did not set out to be a hero, he was a greedy and corrupt businessman. But he was a saviour. I read a quote from one of the 1200 people that he saved that said: "If it weren't for him there would not be me, and there would not be my family either, nor our descendants."
Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough? Ever felt like you were just a face in a crowd, one in a million… useless? Think again.
Today I was overcome not by the immense sadness and brutality- that goes without saying- but by the good amongst the evil, the heroism in Oscar Schindler, a corrupt businessman. It just goes to show that there is good in everyone- immense good, inspiring amounts of good. It is just each person's personal choice if, and how, they express it.
Entrance to Auschwitz concentration camp
Auschwitz Concentration Camp 27/10/11
Auschwitz is beautiful. It's a strange fact, but it is a fact nonetheless. In any other place, under any other circumstance, the red bricks and changing colours of the leaves of the surrounding forestry scattering the earth would be considered picturesque. Peaceful even. Here, however, the beauty makes it that much more eerie, that much more sad.
I don't need to go into the details of how heart-wrenching it was to see the women's hair and the children's clothes preserved and put on display. I won't bother describing the atmosphere of inhumanity and death inside the barracks and the gas chambers alike. I couldn't possibly explain the experience no matter how hard I try. Even I know that there are some things words just cannot describe.
I will say that for three hours I was no longer important. I was no longer an eighteen year old, tanned skin, un-baptised girl from the Caribbean. I was no longer me. Though I can say with almost 100% certainty that if I was a victim of the Holocaust I would have been sent to the gas chambers instantaneously, along with the children under 14 and the adults over 40 as well as those deemed unhealthy or unfit for work. I never would have even seen the inside of the camps. But that is not important. I was not important. I was merely an observer, a fly on the wall, a silent spirit paying tribute to those before me, paying my respects to the spirits of the past.
I did not have flowers to lay at the "wall of death" or a candle to light at the entrance of Auschwitz II- Birkenau. I have never been so overwhelmed by the desire to pray, for those that died and those that survived, for those that lost loved ones and for all those who suffered as well as those suffering today.
The Holocaust may be over, but there is still brutal inhumanity today. So do not forget the horrors of the past, but neither should you overlook the horrors of the present. That is not to say, however, that the love and happiness of the present should be overlooked either. Just remember the next time you fight with a sibling or have a bad day at least you have that sibling to fight with and at least you are alive and healthy. At least you are free.
At the "death wall" my tour guide told me that the victims of the execution used to look their executioners in the eye and shout, loud enough for the other prisoners to hear: "Do not forget me! Remember my name!" So do just that. Remember.
Remember the victims of the Holocaust, remember the victims of the present day horrors, and remember those you love and see everyday. Do not forget to tell them you love them and appreciate them. Do not take them for granted.
And remember yourself. You are not just a number tattooed on your arm. You are not a victim. You are fortunate in more ways than you know. I know I am.
The "Death Wall"
Thoughts from Places- Part III
Wisdom from Wien (Vienna) 21/10/11
I've embarked on a ten day tour of Eastern Europe. From Florence, to Vienna, to Bratislava, to Budapest, to Krakow to Prague and then back home. It's going to be exciting, exhausting, and above all educational. We're on day two, driving out of Vienna now. I like the balance between imperial and modern. The architecture, the lifestyle, the people. Vienna holds a strong contrast between 'regal', like the extravagant and awe-inspiring Belvedere, and 'hip' like the equally beautiful grafiti art display along the river. I wish we had more than one day though, but I've already learnt on a fast-paced, action packed trip like this it's not so much what you do as who you do it with. Keep good company and an open mind and every new place can be a whole new world of discovery.
Strolling through Solvakia 21/10/11
Bratislava is exactly the opposite of what I expected. Watching 'Eurotrip' probably wasn't the best way to prime myself, but I still expected a harsh, gray, cold town. I thought I would find beauty in the cracks of the cobble stoned streets and the heat from a local pub. What I found, however, was a cute, quaint, friendly little town with pastel pink churches and mossy green monuments. I was pleasantly surprised. I found myself browsing the small market in the town square, looking through the jewelry displayed in little red shacks, missing my sister and my friends. I was overwhelmed by the desire for them to be there with me, sharing the experience. Nothing in particular triggered it, there was nothing familiar, no 'deja vu'. I just wanted to share the moment with the people I love.
Bad weather in Budapest 23/10/11
Rain rain go away, come again some other day. I wish I had more time in Budapest. I wish I could have explored more, seen more, learned more. One day is not enough time in Budapest! I did make the best of that one day, however. I learnt two very important lessons in my short time there. 1) I learnt to go with the flow. I can't always try to be in control of everything around me. Some people might not have the best sense of direction, or be aware of the historical aspects of their surroundings, but that's ok. I can read the map and direct the group, and as long as I know the importance of what's around me it doesn't bother me what the other's do or do not know. And 2) I learnt that not everyone who travels cares about the cultural experience. It's one thing to not brush up on your history, but many people unfortunately seem to travel just for the fun of getting drunk in five different countries in ten days. When you say with dead certainty that Budapest is a country maybe it's time to consider that you should spend less time traveling and more time in school. Is ignorance bliss? Or does ignorance cripple you? I sat on the bus and listened to these young women, older than myself, two years into their college degrees, saying that Krakow is the capital of Slovakia and giving the colour and cut of their hair more importance than the culture, the history, the geography of where they were in the world. I am glad I took this year before college to learn and experience culture first hand, rather than to get drunk as much as possible. I am glad that I have always made it a point to surround myself with intelligent, interesting people to call my friends. And I am glad to be me.
Contemporary art in Cracovia (Krakow) 24/10/11
I love history. I have always enjoyed studying the events that created the modern world. Everything from the Cave Man, to the Renaissance, to the Scientific Revolution, to WWII fascinates me. As much as I try to read the news, however, I never know as much about current events as I do about ancient ones. Recently I've decided to change that, and today my eyes were opened. In Krakow, Poland, in the midst of the university that Copernicus attended and the jewish quarters of WWII my roommate and I stumbled upon a contemporary art exhibit. The photo-journalism recollection of 2010 can still be considered 'history' but it is fresh, it is recent. The wounds are still healing. I re-witnesed everything from the devastating earthquake in Haiti, to the unlucky men trapped in the mine in Chile, to the epic journey Somali's take for their freedom, to moments of the world cup and more. It was humbling. I was surprised at how many of the photographs affected me personally in some way or another and recalled a feeling or a thought from my personal history. I still love history, I still value learning from the past, but I also appreciate that I live in the present, and that the present is just as epic, just as eventful if not more so, and should be much more important to me as an individual.
I've embarked on a ten day tour of Eastern Europe. From Florence, to Vienna, to Bratislava, to Budapest, to Krakow to Prague and then back home. It's going to be exciting, exhausting, and above all educational. We're on day two, driving out of Vienna now. I like the balance between imperial and modern. The architecture, the lifestyle, the people. Vienna holds a strong contrast between 'regal', like the extravagant and awe-inspiring Belvedere, and 'hip' like the equally beautiful grafiti art display along the river. I wish we had more than one day though, but I've already learnt on a fast-paced, action packed trip like this it's not so much what you do as who you do it with. Keep good company and an open mind and every new place can be a whole new world of discovery.
Strolling through Solvakia 21/10/11
Bratislava is exactly the opposite of what I expected. Watching 'Eurotrip' probably wasn't the best way to prime myself, but I still expected a harsh, gray, cold town. I thought I would find beauty in the cracks of the cobble stoned streets and the heat from a local pub. What I found, however, was a cute, quaint, friendly little town with pastel pink churches and mossy green monuments. I was pleasantly surprised. I found myself browsing the small market in the town square, looking through the jewelry displayed in little red shacks, missing my sister and my friends. I was overwhelmed by the desire for them to be there with me, sharing the experience. Nothing in particular triggered it, there was nothing familiar, no 'deja vu'. I just wanted to share the moment with the people I love.
Bad weather in Budapest 23/10/11
Rain rain go away, come again some other day. I wish I had more time in Budapest. I wish I could have explored more, seen more, learned more. One day is not enough time in Budapest! I did make the best of that one day, however. I learnt two very important lessons in my short time there. 1) I learnt to go with the flow. I can't always try to be in control of everything around me. Some people might not have the best sense of direction, or be aware of the historical aspects of their surroundings, but that's ok. I can read the map and direct the group, and as long as I know the importance of what's around me it doesn't bother me what the other's do or do not know. And 2) I learnt that not everyone who travels cares about the cultural experience. It's one thing to not brush up on your history, but many people unfortunately seem to travel just for the fun of getting drunk in five different countries in ten days. When you say with dead certainty that Budapest is a country maybe it's time to consider that you should spend less time traveling and more time in school. Is ignorance bliss? Or does ignorance cripple you? I sat on the bus and listened to these young women, older than myself, two years into their college degrees, saying that Krakow is the capital of Slovakia and giving the colour and cut of their hair more importance than the culture, the history, the geography of where they were in the world. I am glad I took this year before college to learn and experience culture first hand, rather than to get drunk as much as possible. I am glad that I have always made it a point to surround myself with intelligent, interesting people to call my friends. And I am glad to be me.
Contemporary art in Cracovia (Krakow) 24/10/11
I love history. I have always enjoyed studying the events that created the modern world. Everything from the Cave Man, to the Renaissance, to the Scientific Revolution, to WWII fascinates me. As much as I try to read the news, however, I never know as much about current events as I do about ancient ones. Recently I've decided to change that, and today my eyes were opened. In Krakow, Poland, in the midst of the university that Copernicus attended and the jewish quarters of WWII my roommate and I stumbled upon a contemporary art exhibit. The photo-journalism recollection of 2010 can still be considered 'history' but it is fresh, it is recent. The wounds are still healing. I re-witnesed everything from the devastating earthquake in Haiti, to the unlucky men trapped in the mine in Chile, to the epic journey Somali's take for their freedom, to moments of the world cup and more. It was humbling. I was surprised at how many of the photographs affected me personally in some way or another and recalled a feeling or a thought from my personal history. I still love history, I still value learning from the past, but I also appreciate that I live in the present, and that the present is just as epic, just as eventful if not more so, and should be much more important to me as an individual.
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