Smart

Almost five years ago now I started writing this blog under the pretense of procrastination. Though so much time has passed and so much about me has changed as I have grown from an awkward teenager to a young woman my biological makeup stays the same: just as my bones have grown but not transformed, my teenage self has matured but not been replaced. That is to say, I still find myself procrastinating.

As I sit and try to write five analytical papers over the next four days for take home exams that commence my second to last year of my undergraduate degree, I find myself daydreaming of a world without the pressure and prestige of higher education. Perhaps a better world.

In my three years at university I have spent countless hours breaking my back sitting hunched over my laptop writing nonsensical words just to meet a word limit and studying to regurgitate impossible amounts of information in order to pass standardised examinations. I have poured my heart and soul into papers and assignments that I have become too invested in and seen little reward for my efforts. I have stressed to the point of anxiety and lost sleep to the point of physical illness. I have consumed my body weight ten times over in caffeinated beverages.
However, I have also gained an innumerable amount of knowledge and an unequalled passion for the study and understanding of human psychology. I love what I do (or plan to do, rather). I have enjoyed almost every class I have had the privilege to have taken, and made lasting connections with more than a few outstandingly intelligent professors along the way - not just in different areas of study but at different universities in different countries. I have met a mentor. I have decided upon and directed my life towards future studies and, hopefully, an established career. I have grown into my own dreams as I once grew into clothing carelessly purchased a few sizes too big. I have accomplished things I never could have dreamed of five years ago in my awkward adolescent angst.

Yet, I cannot help but wonder if it is all that it seems.
I know for a fact that the majority of my knowledge has been gained far outside of the four walls of a classroom. I can say from experience that written assessments and standardised examinations only serve to bolster intelligence that is strictly contained within an educational institution. I must admit that what I learn and do within my studies only goes as far as I aim to apply it in the working world.
I have gained more, experienced more, and learned more in all of the lessons I have had outside of my university in the last three years. I have grown in the experience of studying in Italy and Australia, and matured in the cultural assimilation to the United States. I have learned more in my travels through Cyprus, Lebanon, Canada, Sierra Leone, Australia, and Thailand in the last three years than I could ever hope to learn in a university structure in four or five years.
I believe that there is a fundamental difference between gaining intelligence and being smart. My university career has granted me intelligence that I am infinitely grateful for. But my life and travels have made me smart.
Being smart is about being able to balance education with life’s experiences, as much about failures as it successes, as much borne from sadness as exuberance. Being smart is not a letter mark on a report card; it is a way of life.

And as I go into this, my final week of my third year of my university education, I remind myself that I am more than the sum of my parts – I am worth more than my grades and cannot be measured by a GPA. I may not have a 4.0, but I take comfort in the belief that I am smart nonetheless.