Happiness.

I've been thinking about happiness a lot lately. Not just the feeling but the word, the definition of it. According to the Oxford Dictionary happiness, [noun] is the state of being happy. But what does that mean? What does it mean to be happy?
I fear that often we give in to other's definition of happiness. Hollywood romance movies lead us to believe happiness is having a significant other, friends want us to believe happiness is the feeling we have when we are only with them, teachers trick us into thinking happiness is success and so on and so forth. Don't let anyone or anything define your happiness. Make your own meaning for the word!
I recently heard a very sad story. A sixteen year old boy, unable to define his own happiness, took his own life. I did not know him personally but I knew many people who did. Their sadness and confusion upset me greatly as I thought about how young he was and how much he still had to experience and learn. I will admit that I can relate to this sixteen year old boy, I think in some way most of us can. Teenage years today are hard, and confusing, and stressful and sometimes it's all we can do not to give up. But if you suffer through it long enough, and try hard enough, soon you will find you are not suffering at all. I only wish he had given himself enough time to see that. May he rest in peace.

I found my own happiness. Not in my new roommates that quickly became great friends, not in the boy that makes me smile, not in my sister and my parent's support and love, not even in the city that I am living in and loving every day- though they all contribute to it. I found happiness in myself. It was always there, I just didn't see it.
Recently the happiest I have felt is sitting by myself in a patch of grass with my homework spread around me and the sun shining on my face, surrounded by tourists and locals alike as we all share in the history and the comfort of the Santa Maria Novella.
Maybe you won't find your happiness if you look for it. Maybe happiness has to find you. But don't give up before it does. Every small moment of happiness is greater than a million moments of stress or doubt or anxiety. Every smile triumphs over tears.

'Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.
- Hafiz of Persia'

I hope that quote makes you smile, as it did for me. And above all, I hope happiness finds you if it hasn't already.