I had a bad day:
I had an exam, and the clouds stole the sun. I was happy, and then the night stole my joy. I felt helpless, alone, unsatisfied, upset. I went for a long walk in the middle of the night. I was cold. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I didn’t want to go to class.
Or
I had a good day:
I did well on my exam, and the sun played peek-a-boo. I ate lunch with a friend. When I went for a walk my friend insisted she keep me company: she listened, she wiped my tears, she held me. I started my day with a hug and a kiss from my boyfriend. I was not alone.
As I walked home, alone for the moment but far from lonely, I looked up at the setting sun. The clouds may have been encroaching, but it made for a vibrant pink wash of sky. I fell in love.
Love is not only person to person, not between a man and a woman (or two men or two women), or between friends, or family members. Love is everything, love is all around. Love is the pink in the sky as shadows grow long. Love is the uncontrollable smile when walking alone. Love is the companionship of a friend when you are at your lowest, the kiss of a boy when you are at your best, and your own strength through everything in between. Life is love. Love is a choice, not a gift. You choose to love the life you live, choose to appreciate the pink sky and long shadows. That choice is what makes us human. The precarious balance of loneliness and love, sadness and joy, is what makes us human. Whichever one you choose, it is your choice, and that is what is important.
Choose love.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
Narcotics Anonymous Not Applicable?
My name is Tara; I am not an addict. But that does not mean I don’t relate.
Tonight I went to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting as part of a class assignment. I listened to men and women, old and young, recount their struggles and their inspiring tales of success. And I could relate. The most surprising thing about the NA meeting was that, even though I am not an addict, or an alcoholic, or picking my life up from rock bottom, I could relate with these people.
Struggling with a higher power, with the choices we have made in our lives, and with the repercussions of our actions both on ourselves, and those around us is something every human faces at one point or another. I was surprised to find that each time someone raised their hand to speak I could see a little bit of myself in a little bit of what they were saying. Yet at the same time I was completely, wholly aware of my own identity (which, I have realised, is a very rare blessing). I know who I am and who I want to be. I am lucky.
If I have ever been unsure about my choice to pursue a profession in Psychology, I learnt tonight why I want to do what I want to do. It’s not for the satisfaction of helping people, it’s not for the control of fixing someone else’s problem; it’s not for me at all. It’s for the people, the strong and inspiring people that have enough self-regard, and, more importantly, enough hope to want to help themselves. There is nothing I, as a psychologist, or any other professional could do for a person that they could not do for themselves. Human strength is a powerfully inspiring thing.
What struck me most was not the people courageous enough to speak, not the heart-wrenching struggles of the newcomers to the meeting, but simply the number of people that filled that small room both with their physical presence and their ambient encouragement.
Before I attended the meeting I did not fully understand how a self-help group worked. I learnt about it in my counselling class, I’ve heard about it, and seen re-enactments on TV, but I never really knew what self-help was until tonight. It’s each person’s individual battle, and victory over their struggle. Even if just for that day, even if just for the hour they are sitting in that room. It’s the will power to take control of your own life and learn to make the decisions you want to make. It’s the personal search for a higher power, and surrendering to it or, alternatively, choosing not to. Self-help groups are about helping the individual. All the group is there for is support, but support is the most important thing.
Anyone who is struggling with substance abuse, or simply struggling with themselves, should know what it is to be a part of something greater than themselves. Not God, or Buddha, or religion, or anything, but help. A group arranged with the sole purpose of helping yourselves by helping others, to me, is a higher power worth believing in.
Tonight I went to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting as part of a class assignment. I listened to men and women, old and young, recount their struggles and their inspiring tales of success. And I could relate. The most surprising thing about the NA meeting was that, even though I am not an addict, or an alcoholic, or picking my life up from rock bottom, I could relate with these people.
Struggling with a higher power, with the choices we have made in our lives, and with the repercussions of our actions both on ourselves, and those around us is something every human faces at one point or another. I was surprised to find that each time someone raised their hand to speak I could see a little bit of myself in a little bit of what they were saying. Yet at the same time I was completely, wholly aware of my own identity (which, I have realised, is a very rare blessing). I know who I am and who I want to be. I am lucky.
If I have ever been unsure about my choice to pursue a profession in Psychology, I learnt tonight why I want to do what I want to do. It’s not for the satisfaction of helping people, it’s not for the control of fixing someone else’s problem; it’s not for me at all. It’s for the people, the strong and inspiring people that have enough self-regard, and, more importantly, enough hope to want to help themselves. There is nothing I, as a psychologist, or any other professional could do for a person that they could not do for themselves. Human strength is a powerfully inspiring thing.
What struck me most was not the people courageous enough to speak, not the heart-wrenching struggles of the newcomers to the meeting, but simply the number of people that filled that small room both with their physical presence and their ambient encouragement.
Before I attended the meeting I did not fully understand how a self-help group worked. I learnt about it in my counselling class, I’ve heard about it, and seen re-enactments on TV, but I never really knew what self-help was until tonight. It’s each person’s individual battle, and victory over their struggle. Even if just for that day, even if just for the hour they are sitting in that room. It’s the will power to take control of your own life and learn to make the decisions you want to make. It’s the personal search for a higher power, and surrendering to it or, alternatively, choosing not to. Self-help groups are about helping the individual. All the group is there for is support, but support is the most important thing.
Anyone who is struggling with substance abuse, or simply struggling with themselves, should know what it is to be a part of something greater than themselves. Not God, or Buddha, or religion, or anything, but help. A group arranged with the sole purpose of helping yourselves by helping others, to me, is a higher power worth believing in.
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