To my future child,
I do not know you yet but I know that if and when you come along you will be borne out of love, and my love for you will be great. I will see my face in your eyes and want to protect you from the world that I have known. I have to warn you, it is a wild and unfair world out here. But it is beautiful, too.
You will explore. You will be born with a deep-seated desire to roam free. If you are anything like me you will find it hard to stay in one place for too long. You’ll go from running around the school playground to running across the globe in the blink of an eye. Never stop running. I hope you find everything you search for. Just remember: it is always better to run to something than to run away. Your little legs will never carry you so fast and far that you can run where your worries won’t find you.
You will be wise. In all your exploring and from all your family you will learn a great wealth of opinions. Remember that they are just that, and for as much as we think we know, you must always find your own answers and learn your own lessons. I won’t be able to teach you everything. You have to want to learn. Inquire, and knowledge is yours to acquire.
You will love. One day you will meet a boy or a girl who makes your heart flutter. You won’t understand it at first, you may fight it, but you will grow to love it. Above all you will grow to love him or her. You will want to share all the best parts of yourself with them; your roaming soul and wise mind, but also your most private laugh. Share yourself. You learn more about yourself in love than you can ever hope to by traveling through this world alone.
But you will get hurt. When you are still young you will fall and scrape your knee. If you’re anything like your grandfather you may break some bones falling out of a coconut tree. These physical injuries will teach you how to overcome pain. And that is a lesson you will need to learn. Because the only thing more painful than broken bones is a broken heart. Whomever you choose to love may not always love you in the same way. Or maybe you won’t always love them. For something so inspiring, love can be fickle and cruel. There is nothing in this world quite like your first heartbreak. I wish I could save you from it, even now, but know that this is a right of passage. First, they will help you find your heart in a crevice of your chest that you never thought to look. Then they may break it. They won’t do it on purpose, but if and when it happens it won’t be easy. Know that I will still love you, through your first and your last heartbreak (and any that come in between). Know that picking up the pieces is the most important part of growing up. You must first learn to love yourself before you can fall in love with another, but you must also learn to lose love before you truly appreciate it.
(Dear future child, I have not met your father yet. But I know that I will. And I know he will be a good man. He’ll teach me how to love myself in ways I can’t yet imagine. And I will be true to him, always honest and always devoted – no matter how hard it gets. These may sound like grand promises to your young ears, but when you know love you will know that honesty and devotion come easily with the right person. If they are not easy, the person is not right for you – and this may be the hardest lesson of all to learn.)
Above all you will be strong. I know this because I learned my strength from your grandmother, and she is the strongest woman in the world. She learned from her mother and I promise you I have never met a more inspiring woman than my grandma. If you are half the woman she was you will be M I G H T Y. You will learn from all my nagging lessons, but you will teach yourself the ways of the world too, and from that you will teach yourself how to survive: how to survive an embarrassing school performance or a disastrous expedition, and how to survive a bruised knee or a broken heart.
I believe in you.
I know all this because I learned not just from my mother, but from my own follies through this world. And you will too.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Thoughts from Places: Thailand, Land of Smiles
I have travelled. I have seen and experienced many places. But there are few places that have taken my heart so completely that I leave a part of myself behind, waiting for an opportunity to return. Barcelona has a part of me. Italy has a part of me. And now Thailand has a piece of me too. I am scattered, and I am more complete because of it.
The things you experience while in Thailand: the oppressive, thick heat. The sweat that collects on your chest and the small of your back and takes up permanent residence on your brow. The sand and dirt that cling to your feet and under your nails no matter how many times you wash your hands. The healthy distrust of all water that doesn’t come from a sealed bottle. The confusion of so many things happening at once, all the while trying to navigate on your own. The fear of the fire dancers getting too close with their dangerous tricks. The hungover mornings after nights of a little too much living in the moment. The overwhelming feeling of not wanting to leave.
The things you remember from Thailand, what you take with you when you leave: the excitement of finding your own way around, safely, and arriving at point B from point A (after two ferries, a bus, a flight, and a taxi ride in between). The Thai people that communicate through hand gestures and smiles but are always not just willing, but happy to help and to talk a while if you take the time to. The culture, with a new lesson every where you look about something that was foreign but now seems familiar. The happiness that is the driving force of the country, the bond in any interaction, the motivation for every action, the feeling in every moment. The fellow travellers you meet along the way that are like-minded and open hearted, making what could have been a lonely moment a new connection and a happy memory. The sunsets on the southern islands. A vibrating, all-encompassing motivation to return, to see more, do more, learn more, eat more, and love more.
10 days in Thailand: Temples, blessings, and Buddhist monks. A river tour & feeding fish. Street food and a magic show. A cooking class. A temporary tattoo. The hustle & bustle of a big city. An overnight train. Then, floating bungalows. Watching the sun rise over the lake as the clouds kiss the still water. Absolute serenity. More travel. An island. A sunset dinner on the beach and private party with strangers that turned into friends. A beach day, boat cruise, and snorkeling. Elephants: slow, gentle, playful, caring creatures. A Thai massage on the beach at dusk. Scuba diving off another island with new friends. Songkran New Year festivities back in the big city.
In the end it was not what I did, but who I did it with. Forming new friendships with old acquaintances, finding new companions in impossible crowds, feeling the security of lasting friendships after only knowing these people for one week.
Travelling is about seeing new places, gaining new perspective through new experiences, and broadening your mind and your horizons. But as well as all that, travelling is about who you meet, who accompanies you along the way through new countries and personal growth, and who you are by the end of it all.
I am happy. I’m adventurous and outgoing and I’m not afraid to start a conversation with a perfect stranger in hopes that by the end of it they will be a new friend. I am confident, comfortable enough in my own skin to wear that skin in new places all on my own. I am passionate in everything that I do because I’ve learned that if I’m not willing to give it my all then it is not worth my time. I am proud to say that this is who I am and who I hope to continue to be going into my 22nd year of life.
Who are you?
Travel, and find out.
The things you experience while in Thailand: the oppressive, thick heat. The sweat that collects on your chest and the small of your back and takes up permanent residence on your brow. The sand and dirt that cling to your feet and under your nails no matter how many times you wash your hands. The healthy distrust of all water that doesn’t come from a sealed bottle. The confusion of so many things happening at once, all the while trying to navigate on your own. The fear of the fire dancers getting too close with their dangerous tricks. The hungover mornings after nights of a little too much living in the moment. The overwhelming feeling of not wanting to leave.
The things you remember from Thailand, what you take with you when you leave: the excitement of finding your own way around, safely, and arriving at point B from point A (after two ferries, a bus, a flight, and a taxi ride in between). The Thai people that communicate through hand gestures and smiles but are always not just willing, but happy to help and to talk a while if you take the time to. The culture, with a new lesson every where you look about something that was foreign but now seems familiar. The happiness that is the driving force of the country, the bond in any interaction, the motivation for every action, the feeling in every moment. The fellow travellers you meet along the way that are like-minded and open hearted, making what could have been a lonely moment a new connection and a happy memory. The sunsets on the southern islands. A vibrating, all-encompassing motivation to return, to see more, do more, learn more, eat more, and love more.
10 days in Thailand: Temples, blessings, and Buddhist monks. A river tour & feeding fish. Street food and a magic show. A cooking class. A temporary tattoo. The hustle & bustle of a big city. An overnight train. Then, floating bungalows. Watching the sun rise over the lake as the clouds kiss the still water. Absolute serenity. More travel. An island. A sunset dinner on the beach and private party with strangers that turned into friends. A beach day, boat cruise, and snorkeling. Elephants: slow, gentle, playful, caring creatures. A Thai massage on the beach at dusk. Scuba diving off another island with new friends. Songkran New Year festivities back in the big city.
In the end it was not what I did, but who I did it with. Forming new friendships with old acquaintances, finding new companions in impossible crowds, feeling the security of lasting friendships after only knowing these people for one week.
Travelling is about seeing new places, gaining new perspective through new experiences, and broadening your mind and your horizons. But as well as all that, travelling is about who you meet, who accompanies you along the way through new countries and personal growth, and who you are by the end of it all.
I am happy. I’m adventurous and outgoing and I’m not afraid to start a conversation with a perfect stranger in hopes that by the end of it they will be a new friend. I am confident, comfortable enough in my own skin to wear that skin in new places all on my own. I am passionate in everything that I do because I’ve learned that if I’m not willing to give it my all then it is not worth my time. I am proud to say that this is who I am and who I hope to continue to be going into my 22nd year of life.
Who are you?
Travel, and find out.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Happiness, Part 2
Happiness Is…
Happiness (noun): the state of being happy.
To me, happiness is putting my feet up after a long day and enjoying a home cooked meal, a glass of wine, and a good book.
Happy (adjective): feeling or showing content.
As part of some preparation I’ve been doing for a research paper for my class in ‘The Philosophy of Happiness’, but mostly out of my own curiosity, I recently reached out to friends and family around the world via social media networking and asked them to answer the simple question ‘What is Happiness to you?’
This was not an attempt to define happiness; on the contrary, I am trying to understand it. What does it mean to other people and how can we hope to achieve it?
I had an overhelming response from good friends sharing with me their notion of happiness:
Happiness is…
-“Being surrounded by family and friends that care about me. I wouldn't be happy without them.”
-“Not necessarily having everything you want, but being so content with what you have or what you are doing that you don’t have this burning want for anything else.”
-“Living in the moment and worrying about repercussions later. Living the fullest, most exciting, most entertaining life possible because life is short and eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we (may) die!”
-“Happiness of others can trigger an incredibly powerful happiness within you.”
-“Appreciating all of the things you have and the people around you. Understanding how much they mean to you. Knowing that the world is full of amazing things and opportunities, and that every experience (good or bad) can improve who you are.”
-“Being mindful, at peace and grateful in moments when you maybe have reason not to be. Being happy no matter where you are, not because you're where you'd like to be. To me, happiness is not synonymous with perfection. Hah but things approaching perfection can easily make people happy.”
-“It’s easy to feel but hard to describe in totality. This may sound simple but it’s the only comprehensive definition I could think of. To feel positive about every aspect of life, even if some of those aspects aren’t where you'd like them to be, the majority are and as such those minority aspects cant bring you down.”
-“Feeling in control of your life and your circumstances.”
-“When my thoughts and beliefs are in sync with what I say and do”
-“Happiness is when you can't help but smile at this wonderful life -- when you get that whole body tingling of utter content with the world, with your life, and you consequently spill a little happy, a little love, and a little sparkle on everyone you encounter. Happiness is that glimmer in our eyes. You know it when you see it. And it’s hella contagious.”
-“Happiness is life in general.”
The hardest part about defining happiness, philosophically or otherwise, is the differentiation between feeling happy and living a happy life. One would assume that the former would lead to the latter. But feelings are fleeting, and if a moment of happiness passes with no lasting impact on your life as a whole, can it then contribute to a happy life overall? Contrarily, a happy life overall is most often measured in success, rather than accumulated feelings of happiness, and if a happy life is more about successfully accomplishing one’s desires and less about quantifying the amount of times or the measure of happy feelings one felt in their lifetime, then the fleeting feelings of happiness become unimportant and irrelevant.
I do not believe this is the case. It cannot be. Because feeling happy is the driving force for most actions and reactions. We desperately try to define happiness so that we can use that framework as a guidance for how to go through life and how to interact with others. We try to act in ways that would make others happy, and avoid actions we know would do the opposite. Or at least we should.
Happiness cannot be defined. It can’t be measured and it can’t be explained. It can only be felt. And though those feelings might be fleeting, we treasure them. We try each and every day to grasp that feeling for however long we are lucky enough to hold it.
Of all the friends that shared with me their notions of happiness, one stood out to me most:
“Happiness is a privilege. It is not constant. When you are truly happy, you may not remember to appreciate it because it is easy. It's soothing, it feels like everything is right in your world. But when you lose it, even temporarily, you remember that no one can be happy all day for their entire life. Happiness doesn't exist in a happily ever after sense. Happiness exists in perfect moments. Some moments last longer than others but it is such a blessing during that moment.”
Happiness (noun): the state of being happy.
To me, happiness is putting my feet up after a long day and enjoying a home cooked meal, a glass of wine, and a good book.
Happy (adjective): feeling or showing content.
As part of some preparation I’ve been doing for a research paper for my class in ‘The Philosophy of Happiness’, but mostly out of my own curiosity, I recently reached out to friends and family around the world via social media networking and asked them to answer the simple question ‘What is Happiness to you?’
This was not an attempt to define happiness; on the contrary, I am trying to understand it. What does it mean to other people and how can we hope to achieve it?
I had an overhelming response from good friends sharing with me their notion of happiness:
Happiness is…
-“Being surrounded by family and friends that care about me. I wouldn't be happy without them.”
-“Not necessarily having everything you want, but being so content with what you have or what you are doing that you don’t have this burning want for anything else.”
-“Living in the moment and worrying about repercussions later. Living the fullest, most exciting, most entertaining life possible because life is short and eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we (may) die!”
-“Happiness of others can trigger an incredibly powerful happiness within you.”
-“Appreciating all of the things you have and the people around you. Understanding how much they mean to you. Knowing that the world is full of amazing things and opportunities, and that every experience (good or bad) can improve who you are.”
-“Being mindful, at peace and grateful in moments when you maybe have reason not to be. Being happy no matter where you are, not because you're where you'd like to be. To me, happiness is not synonymous with perfection. Hah but things approaching perfection can easily make people happy.”
-“It’s easy to feel but hard to describe in totality. This may sound simple but it’s the only comprehensive definition I could think of. To feel positive about every aspect of life, even if some of those aspects aren’t where you'd like them to be, the majority are and as such those minority aspects cant bring you down.”
-“Feeling in control of your life and your circumstances.”
-“When my thoughts and beliefs are in sync with what I say and do”
-“Happiness is when you can't help but smile at this wonderful life -- when you get that whole body tingling of utter content with the world, with your life, and you consequently spill a little happy, a little love, and a little sparkle on everyone you encounter. Happiness is that glimmer in our eyes. You know it when you see it. And it’s hella contagious.”
-“Happiness is life in general.”
The hardest part about defining happiness, philosophically or otherwise, is the differentiation between feeling happy and living a happy life. One would assume that the former would lead to the latter. But feelings are fleeting, and if a moment of happiness passes with no lasting impact on your life as a whole, can it then contribute to a happy life overall? Contrarily, a happy life overall is most often measured in success, rather than accumulated feelings of happiness, and if a happy life is more about successfully accomplishing one’s desires and less about quantifying the amount of times or the measure of happy feelings one felt in their lifetime, then the fleeting feelings of happiness become unimportant and irrelevant.
I do not believe this is the case. It cannot be. Because feeling happy is the driving force for most actions and reactions. We desperately try to define happiness so that we can use that framework as a guidance for how to go through life and how to interact with others. We try to act in ways that would make others happy, and avoid actions we know would do the opposite. Or at least we should.
Happiness cannot be defined. It can’t be measured and it can’t be explained. It can only be felt. And though those feelings might be fleeting, we treasure them. We try each and every day to grasp that feeling for however long we are lucky enough to hold it.
Of all the friends that shared with me their notions of happiness, one stood out to me most:
“Happiness is a privilege. It is not constant. When you are truly happy, you may not remember to appreciate it because it is easy. It's soothing, it feels like everything is right in your world. But when you lose it, even temporarily, you remember that no one can be happy all day for their entire life. Happiness doesn't exist in a happily ever after sense. Happiness exists in perfect moments. Some moments last longer than others but it is such a blessing during that moment.”
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