Life is short

Life is short.
It’s something that we hear all the time, but how often do we ever really appreciate it? How often do we stop and think about how quickly the last three months, or three years have gone by, and how quickly the next three years will go too. Life is short. It’s a cliché but only because it is true.

Nothing is certain in this life. Time is relative; a week of bliss can feel just as long and be just as significant as a month of depression. Plans are unstable; no matter how much you try to predict and prepare for something in your life there is never a guarantee that things will work out exactly how you want them to. The future is ambiguous. And that’s what makes it so exciting! If we knew everything we were going to do before we did it, if we knew how everything was going to work out we would have no adventures in life, no passion to drive us, no joy in success. Yet, things don’t always work out the way that we hope, and when they don’t it's devastating. Planning and hoping and trying can only get you so far in life. Sometimes the rest is up to fate, up to whatever unknown force there is out there that guides our lives.

Six months from now I could (and probably will) be living in a different country. One week from now I could get struck down by lightning. One year from now I could meet the love of my life and live happily every after or ten years from now I could be a grumpy spinster with six cats living in a shack. Six years from now I WANT to earn a PhD and start my life earning a living in a field I am passionate about. Who the hell knows if that will be the case?!

Life is short, and every day we wake up thinking I wish I could do this or I want that, but then we catch ourselves and let ‘logic’ kick in and talk us out of it.
“I want to buy that pair of shoes that I have wanted for months... But no, I already have a pair very similar and should wait until I have more money to spare.”
“Boy do I want to eat a tub of ice cream and veg out for a day... But wait, I am going to a beach themed party in a couple hours and want to look good in a bikini.”
“Man I really wish I could tell that person how I feel... But what if they don’t reciprocate?”
These are the things we face every day. These are the ‘trivial’ matters that we talk ourselves out of because we let our heads override our hearts.

A wise friend told me that there are two parts to every conscience. There is the human side: the rational, logical, prepared side that measures every out come before we act. And then there is the animal side: the raw, unadulterated, irrational, passionate part that has a desire and fixates on that until the desire is either met or repressed. They are in constant battle with each other. Life is too short to let the human side win!
Sometimes, yes, it really is best to make the safe choice. But sometimes it’s ok - better even! - to make the choice that will make you happy. However fleeting that happiness may be.
Buy that pair of shoes. Eat the damn ice cream. Tell that person how you feel!
It is better to live, and learn from a mistake than to live with regret. Or worse, to always wonder if you would have been happier if you had trusted your gut.

Sometimes you just have to take off your floaties and jump in the deep end. If you’re lucky, you will learn how to swim.

Age is not just a number

I have realised that age is not a number. It is a state of mind. It’s a decision that you make, over and over again. And you don’t always choose the same age. You don’t have to.

Some days I feel silly. I want to watch cartoons and drink hot chocolate and lie on the couch whining until my roommate cooks me dinner like my mother used to when I was 5.
Some days I feel like I’m back in high school. I’m 17 again and adolescent tunnel vision convinces me that the one small problem I am facing is the be all and end all of my entire life, and that gossip is fundamental.
Some days I feel older than my years. I’m working in a probation court and the experienced people that I work with tell me that I can have any job I set my sights on once I graduate because I am mature, eloquent, and intelligent.
And some days I just feel 21. Sitting at a bar with my best friend drinking a beer or two and catching up on the last couple weeks.

Age is not a number until you make that number define you or your relationships. I know 21 year olds that still act like children and I know 15 year olds that have grown up much too quickly.
I have grown more in the last two months than I did in the time between my 20th and my 21st birthdays. Years do not make your age; experiences make your age, lessons make your age. YOU choose your age. There is no right or wrong choice.